Team Parenthood: How To Not Hate Your Spouse After Kids
A step-by-step course for couples who want to communicate better, enhance intimacy, ditch resentment, and feel like a team again.
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Team Parenthood: How To Not Hate Your Spouse After Kids
A step-by-step course for couples who want to communicate better, enhance intimacy, ditch resentment, and feel like a team again.
Picture this...
You had a long day with the kids. Little sleep. They're sick- again. You're trying to get some things done around the house but it is somehow a disaster still and you haven't accomplished any of the things you really needed to. You're lonely and simultaneously want to be alone. Then your spouse walks in the door.
"Hey, how was your day?" they say.
"Long," you respond as you pick up toys for the 100th time today, "yours?"
They sigh, "mine was exhausting. I'm beat."
You feel a wave of anger roll through your body. Beat?! "Ya, well at least you got to drink hot coffee and speak to other adults."
"It's not like work is a vacation you know," they retort.
"Seems like it from where I'm sitting."
You turn to go make dinner and the two of you carry on the rest of the night living in the same house, doing the parenting thing together, but you feel entirely alone.
You think...
When did our relationship get so hard?
Now let's jump into your partner's mind for a moment.
They had a long day at work. They're tired and know they aren't performing as well as they would like. Plus they hate being away from the kids and missing all the cute moments you send in videos all day. They're excited to see you. They miss you.
They walk through the door and see you, looking defeated. You ask how their day is and they think, this is the perfect common ground, we both had long days!
But their response seems to tick you off, and they aren't entirely sure why. Then you criticize their work and that sends you into defensive mode. They feel unseen in the hard work they are doing to provide for the family and misunderstood in how they are trying to show up for you.
As you walk away from the coversation they are left feeling confused, defensive, and frustrated. They spend the evening living in the same house, doing the parenting things together, but they feel entirely alone.
They think...
I got it wrong, again. Maybe I just need to stop trying.
When did our relationship get so hard?
If this is sounding all too familiar, know that you are not alone. This is a common experience for couples in the early years of parenthood.
Don't forget! You can try it risk free for 5 days!
But in reality you feel disconnected, resentful, and exhausted.
Our cups are empty and there's nothing left to give each other
Enter your bullet points here..
We can't remember the last time we had a date night, or even what we would do if we actually had time away from the kids
Enter your bullet points here..
We can't seem to find the energy or desire to engage in physical intimacy
Enter your bullet points here..
We keep having the same argument over and over again so it feels easier to just co-exist in silence some days
Enter your bullet points here..
We resent each other for different reasons, leaving both of us feeling unappreciated and unseen
Enter your bullet points here..
We love each other but we're on different pages and don't know how to get on the same team
Enter your bullet points here..
We miss the couple we used to be
Enter your bullet points here..
Personally and professionally, I know this is all so real for so many couples.
The shame and exhaustion surrounding relationship problems in the early years of parenthood is enough to make us want to give up entirely.
Please know how hard things feel right now is not your fault.
We weren't taught how to prioritize our relationship after becoming parents.
The impact of our relationships health on our own personal mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing is completely glossed over when preparing for parenthood.
We are thrown into the deep end of parenthood without the tools we need to learn how to swim these unchartered waters. We were cheated out of a genuine opportunity to learn the critical skills we need to thrive in this season of life!
But here's the thing.
You know the impact your relationship is having on your wellbeing.
You know how important it is for your kids to have a healthy relationship to look up to.
You wouldn't be here reading these words if you didn't already believe it was worth trying to work on.
The stakes are too high not too.
But you're too tired and frustrated to try and figure out how to do it.
That's exactly why I created Team Parenthood.
It's a practical, playful, in-depth but easy to apply program that has proven amazing results to the couples who have gone through it.
What past participants are saying
Hear it straight from the couples who have completed Team Parenthood
I have found myself talking to parents about the playground about this program! I would highly recommend it to all my friends (and clearly strangers too).
It was such a wonderful space to openly communicate with my spouse on topics that needed attention in our relationship. We have learnt to work through our emotions, triggers, and feelings behind the disagreement, instead of what was actually said and spinning our tires over the details that don’t actually matter.
We’ve gained several new tools to communicate and make space for our relationship and each other during a time in life that feeling like a don’t have time for our relationship to be a priority.
It was very helpful to hear in real time how other couples were struggling in almost the exact same way that we were in that moment. I actually liked the group format, though I was quite nervous about it at the beginning. I think hearing from other couples put things into perspective for us. Of course we have our weaknesses and struggles, but we also have some great strengths that I was surprised to notice. Having the meetings regularly gave us a good sense of accountability for completing stuff.
We learned a lot about ourselves and our relationship that we had not properly connected in 12 years together. It created a lot of conversations we had never had before. We are so thankful we found you and your course! Had talked about couples counselling for so long and it felt so scary. This was such a good introduction to things we needed guidance with in such a safe space.
"Eveniet quam natus et commodi minus consequuntur enim iure magnam nam fugit voluptas."
But How?!
Sure, it sounds great, but how exactly are we going to get there?
Here's a look at my signature training plan to get you playing like a team again.
Module 1: Foundations
We will review the basics of healthy relationships and do a deep dive into your past, understanding your attachment style and how it shows up in your relationship today.
Module 2: Communication
You will become an expert on communication basics such as validation and repair, then identify your conflict cycle, gain awareness as to what is triggering each of you and learn how to shift into healthier conflict cycles. Finally, we will apply these skills to tricky parenting moments.
Module 3: Division of Labour
You will learn exactly what people are talking about when they say the "mental load" and "division of labour," why couples feel resentful, and start dividing your own domestic labour fairly.
Module 4: Boundaries
You will learn about different types of boundaries, how to communicate and maintain healthy boundaries with ourselves, our partner, friends, family, in-laws, technology, etc. Yes, including what to do when someone doesn't respect your boundary!
Module 5: Sex & Intimacy
You will learn how intimacy shifts in parenthood, different types of sexual desire, how to support each other to feel desire again, and how to increase intimacy even in your busy lives.
Module 6: Integration
We will bring it all together, create individual practice schedules, injury protocols, fine tune your mindset, and leave you feel confident you can trust your teammate to show up for you on game day.
6 Online Modules
Workbook with worksheets & exercises you will use for years to come!
Weekly virtual meetings on Tuesdays at 7:30pm PST where we will apply what you have been learning in that week's module to your specific situation, working through any road blocks that are coming up
Private Facebook community to connect with couples just like you, working through the material at the same time
Weekly accountability forms you submit to receive individual feedback from me AND get entered to win prizes!
How To Get Your Partner On Board bonus guide
Extra goodies and delights!
Enter your bullet points here..
Ditch resentment
Learn how to navigate conflict with ease
Actually feel heard and understood
Understand what healthy sex is and how to get it
Remember why you love this person and wanted to have kids with them in the first place
Feel confident setting boundaries with family members
Realize you are not alone in the struggles of the early years of parenthood
Learn what the heck the mental load REALLY is and how to release it
Gain a concrete plan to divide the visible AND invisible labour of this whole adult/parent thing
Feel like a TEAM in parenthood again
Enter your bullet points here..
Is this program for you?
You have at least one child age 0-5 years
You want to feel like a team in parenthood AND romantic partnership
You are open to examining your own relationship patterns
Even though you can sometimes feel like you hate your partner, deep down you know you love them and want to feel connected again during this challenging season of life
Enter your bullet points here..
You don’t have children
All of your children are in high school or have left the home
You aren’t interested in reflecting on your own relationship patterns
You don’t desire deeper connection in your relationship
You are experiencing domestic violence in your relationship
You don’t want to change your own behaviour and are hoping I will tell your spouse they are the one who needs to change
Enter your bullet points here..
FAQs
What if we don't have childcare during the live calls?
That’s totally OK! The program is run virtually so I will have all participant’s microphones muted so we wont hear your wee ones during the sessions. We are all parents and understand that having little ones around is part of this season of life, and exactly what this program is addressing is how to invest in your relationship even when kiddos are around! And if you really can't make it work, you can always catch the replay :)
What is the time commitment?
Each week you need to set aside 60 minutes for the group calls and a minimum of 30 minutes for the homework. The homework can be done in chunks. I would advise you to also set aside about an hour of time with your partner to compare homework, discuss the learning and connect.
How long will we have access to the course material for?
You will have lifetime access to the course material.
Is this course the same as therapy?
No. Although I am a certified clinical counsellor, this course is for educational purposes only. The benefit of this for you is I am using all my knowledge and training from being a therapist to support you to learn the best strategies for success in your own relationship- without investing a lot more time and money.
Do you offer refunds?
Yes, you have a five day window to request a refund. You must submit proof of the work completed during this time and a formal request before the end of the five days to connect@nestcounselling.ca
It feels too expensive...
We’re all working with budgets and “expensive” is a relative concept.
If you’re working with a budget where you can either purchase Team Parenthood or pay your rent, please don’t buy this course!
If you’re in a place where you can swing an extra $197 per month but you’re still hesitating, my answer would be what ARE you willing to invest that $197 in? Drinks and dinner on Friday night? A few too many items you didn't really need on an Amazon sale because the deals were too good to pass up? A couple Skip The Dishes orders per month?
Sometimes things feeling expensive really means they’re not a priority to you. Life is expensive and many of us are spending the majority of our money on basic needs. But many of us also mindlessly spend on things that don’t actually bring us connection, joy, or move us closer to our goals. So ask yourself, “Am I spending on things that are important to me? Is my relationship worth investing in?”
And remember, I charge $270 per couples session so getting through all this material in couples therapy would cost much more money (not to mention time).
Will the live calls be recorded?
Yes, life happens so the weekly meetings will be recorded if you cannot attend for any reason, but live attendance has been shown to yield greater results for couples and I highly recommend trying to prioritize it in your schedule.
Can I take the course without my partner?
My recommendation is to take the course together. I think you’ll have the most impact if you’re learning at the same time. But I also want to acknowledge that couples can be on different pages about this stuff and you can definitely see benefit doing it independently as well.
So you can absolutely go through the course solo, and bring the tips and techniques back into your relationship.
I created a bonus guide How To Get Your Partner On Board that you can use to guide your conversations when approaching them about participating in this course.
Is this course covered by extended health plans?
Every extended health plan is different so it's best to check with your provider to see if educational courses are covered.
If you're thinking this all sounds amazing but I'm still not 100% sure...consider this:
You don't want to regret it.
You want to look back on this season of life as connecting, joyful, and filled with love. You don’t want to regret not enjoying your relationship as best you could and find yourself filled with regret down the road that you "missed it."Or worse, that things continue to get worse and you regret not prioritizing your relationship when you had the chance.
You know great relationships take effort.
You’re under no illusion that happy couples just effortlessly walk through all the peaks and valleys of life without putting in some work. You know relationships take effort sometimes, and you want your relationship to be one of the greats.
You want your kids to grow up with healthy relationship role models.
You recognize that our parent’s relationship shapes the way we each respond to conflict, how we feel about expressing emotions, and how comfortable we are with intimacy. You want your children to grow up knowing that its OK to be loved through mistakes, what its like to have parents who share the load of parenting, and how to set loving boundaries. In fact, you know this is the greatest gift you could ever give them. And it starts with modelling it.
Repudiandae
The average couple spends 6 months in therapy, and a whole lot of money.
Wouldn't it be great if you could have results quicker and without breaking the bank?
That's my mission with this course. I can walk you through the exact things you need to make real and lasting change in just six weeks.
Join now!
*if you are joining without a partner, please write "n/a" in required fields
All prices in USD